Mike Maddux is cool

Mike Maddux is cool because he can make people like Derrick Turnbow throw 97 mph strikes. It is good when you have people that can throw 97 mph and aren't entitled to much money because then you can trade them to Atlanta and get Jose Capellan or keep them and have a good closer. I enjoy beating Carlos Zambrano almost as much as I enjoy beating Sammy Sosa. Who's going to wear a large unsightly bandage on their chin with me to support Lyle Overbay's sweet southpaw swing? Long live the Cubs losing!!!! and get well soon Sheeter even though we've won five in a row without you.

Today was sooo much fun because we learned about continental glaciation in geography. Continental glaciation is like the banana pudding of physical processes (what is up with people pronouncing processes processEEZ? Last time I checked it wasn't the plural of procis). How many of us marvel at our glaciated landscape? Is that bump in the road a DRUMLIN? Is that flirtatious hill over there actually a KAME winking its patch of mesic forested hillside at you? Perhaps that serpentine, river-like mound you've been pondering since childhood is actually an ESKER. Remember going to the sledding hill as a child? Did you ever consider that that hill might be a terminal MORAINE left over from the last glacial advance in the Pleistocene? People of good will, I urge you to take notice of our beautiful landscape and at the same time memorize the words DRUMLIN, KAME, ESKER, MORAINE, and even KETTLE because they're really freaking cool. Now it's back to the Holocene and homework...